Virtually Heaven

She had already submitted her resignation letter and was serving her last month's notice, for she thought being away from it all will make her eventually forget all about it, and relocating made perfect sense, A Province she was not known at was the best place to start over, away from all the shame she was covered in.

The engagement ring she could easily take back to the jewellery store and all the bookings were just a phone call away to cancel but the stare was not going to die down that easily; invitations were already sent out, and everyone involved in organising were all excited but the wedding was no longer how she wished she knew what was the real reason he called off the wedding in any case no one cared about him the scorn was left with her; people accused her of many things unfaithfulness being on top of the list, although it never crossed her mind she was beginning to feel like if perhaps she knew she wronged him somehow then she would expect and accept all that was happening but she never wronged him not even once and he did not even have the audecity to face her, he called and said the wedding was off when asked why he just said "it's complicated, it's not like you did something wrong or anything it's just me, and calling off the wedding is best for everyone" like that was suppose to explain everything the wedding was in 3 months, 29th of September to be exact the save a date invites had already been out and there was not even a single person that had not RSVP'd when the news reached their ears that the wedding was off it wiped that smile off their faces, and he did not even stick around long enough to explain, she was left with all the elucidation and that was enough to drive her to a psychatric ward hence change of scenery was what she needed.

Two months had gone by and she was gradually accepting and embracing the change, she refused to let that one bad experience cloud her perceptions, putting away self pity she was actually glad things turned out that way, because cavernous inside her despite the excitement of planning the wedding that relationship was doomed to fail sooner or later, there was always something she has to change about hereself, whatever she did was never good enough he always found a fault to point out there was always a flaw somewhere, he had a problem with the clothes she wore, the way she wore her hair, the friends she had, the places she went to, the way she spoke she literally had to change everything which she was okay with in the beggining then it got a bit ridiculous, truth be told no matter how sad she was about the wedding she was happy it was finally over, she was finally free to make her own decisions and for once it felt great she was free at last from his tight leash yet she still wanted to go away to get a new perpective.

Had she done that sooner maybe just maybe she would have succeeded avoiding the reprice, she would have escaped re-living the pain again; after the breakup she locked her heart and hid the key so far away not even she knew where it was up until Sipho came along and found it, he unlocked that one part of her she guarded as the apple of her eye she reluctantly gave in she had been negative towards love for quite some time and even content being a loner, Sipho was adamant to love her patch the pain, however she was not too sure as to how to respond but she was aware that she was plagued by ambivalent feelings and was falling inlove with the idea of loving him, she was loving the idea of breaking through she wondered how he maneuvered that since he did not even have to try that hard perhaps it was merely the fact that for once she was free to be who she was, she did not have to change anything to accomodate anyone everything just fell perfectly in place, it was either a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare either or she did not want to wake up, she must have been dreaming because it was just too good to be true.


Well ofcourse as Murphy's law would have it, when you finally think you have what you've been searching for then something on the contrary resurfaces. For quite sometime Vuyelwa had been ignoring the fatique, un ending fever, fullness below her ribs and in the end deicded to see the doctor she had just found out she had Lukemia and it was at it's last stage she had only a couple of weeks left to live, she had just found what she always wanted yet did not have much time left to enjoy it no matter how beautiful and happy she has been feeling it was only temporary from then onwards, everyday spent with him was precious for she was creating an album of retentions in her mind of nothing but Sipho it felt like her life only began when she met him and was little bit too late because she did not have much time to enjoy that but then again happy endings only happened on movies and this was real life it's not like she expected him to die with her they were no replica of Romeo & Juliet she loved him enough to let him go she was not the only woman capable of love if any woman would love him as she did or even close she would die a peaceful death with a pure heart she wished and prayed that when she's finally taken away from him, he finds true love and with that accomplished she will be laid to rest.